When Cats Go Bananas

As a vet tech I have many stories of cats who have "gone mad" trying to avoid veterinary services. While most pet  cats are certainly amiable enough, many want nothing to do with the vet. Some cats want to claw your face. Some want to latch on to your hand. Some just want to get away.

Recently, when trying to discharge a post surgery cat, the cat decided he would not be  caught or picked up again. To avoid being transferred to his rather posh cat carrier, he instead took a leap toward my head. In sheer reflex action, I ducked. The cat's feet landed square on the top of my head, and he launched himself from my head to the ground in less than a micro second.

My hands flew immediately to the top of my head and I began inching my way through our treatment area chasing the cat and calling out that a cat was loose. The cat made a safe landing to the tile floor and was recaptured quickly by our staff.   Fortunately, he was a light and agile cat and the damage to my skull was minimal.

My favorite cat escape story occurred when I had my first part time job in a GP clinic.I had been on the job about 3 days and the  regular technician called in sick. I hadn't  a clue how to anesthetize a cat for surgery. I had watched the more experienced technician wrap the pet in a towel, inject induction drugs, and mask the cat with gas anesthetic. (Not something that would ever be done in the place I work now.)

As I was holding this kitty burrito, the vet decided to check the oxygen tank. The hiss from the tank spooked this mildly drugged cat and sent him  straight to "crazy town". To avoid being bitten, I did the only intelligent thing.  I let go. The cat shot out of the towel, off the surgery table and into the clinic lobby.

The vet and I chased the cat into the lobby where  he lingered at the base of a decorative banana tree.

We crept along, trying not to scare him again. But alas, he would have none of it and he climbed the tree to the very top. Unfortunately,  the tree touched the ceiling tiles and those tiles were movable. The cat was headed into the ceiling. 

Now the doctor was starting to panic. Long strings of profanity poured forth. Seriously hateful looks were cast my way. He sent me for the big fishing net.

Before I had returned with the net, the doctor decided to chance it. He jumped up on the lobby seating, and launched  himself up the tree. He grabbed the cat's rear leg. When the kitty turned to hiss and bite the doctor, he lost his balance and fell from the tree. He dropped to the floor like a stunned fly.I put the net over him and waited for the swearing doctor to come down off the seats to assist me.

He didn't . He walked away, leaving me there with the stunned cat. I waited what seemed like forever for the cat to lift its head. His eye were dilated with fear but he was still alive. I had no clue how to get the cat into the net. So I finally just took it off. He perked up and looked around. Once he realized he was free, he gave a half-hearted sprint. I was able to herd him into a large ground floor cage in the surgery area where he avoided a procedure that day.

About a week later, I saw our receptionist loading that banana tree into her convertible. The doctor gave her the tree and forbid any further plant life in the lobby. As she drove away with the leaves flapping in the wind, it occurred to me that when cats "go bananas" nobody wins, least of all the cat.
lw

Winston: Feline Chessmaster
He did not escape, but he is super cute.