When the Clock Strikes Quiet

I could hear the chimes of my friend's grandfather clock reminding  us that our conversation had lasted another 15 minutes. The clock's numbers, hands, and chimes shout out to the world that time is passing, that the time is now, or, perhaps, that it's too late or too early.  Behind the face, the gears and cogs quietly hum along unseen, barely heard, if at all, precise, and utterly necessary.  The hands and numbers offer only misinformation without the clicking cogs. The clicking gears have no purpose without the hands. They all work together to give the world vital information.

I recently viewed a TED talk by author Susan Cain on the power of introverts. She recounts the difficulties of being a cog in a world of clock faces, an introvert in a world where out-going is valued and those who are quiet and reflective are considered "a little odd." The extroverts all see each other shouting what time it is and think it's normal to be that way (and for them it is.) The introverts stand by wondering if the constant chatter is meaningful or even necessary.

Over my lifetime I have been called quiet, moody, anti-social, weird, an egghead, a nerd, and too sensitive.  I have been  all those things and, at times, I AM those things.  I was a such a disagreeable teenager that my parents built me a room between the garage and the laundry room so I could have more space to myself and less interaction with my family. In an age where kids did not have TVs in their rooms, I was perfectly satisfied with a radio, books, and my odd little projects. What I was, was a sensitive and reflective kid with a limit to how much social stimulation I could handle without blowing a fuse. While their motivation was more about keeping peace than acknowledging my differences,  I am thankful that my parents gave me space instead of forcing me to be more out-going than I wanted to be. As an adult, I still need my space and enjoy a certain amount of time alone with my thoughts.

What would our world be like without clicking cogs and gears like Isaac Newton, Abraham Lincoln, Albert Einstein, Rosa Parks, Eleanor Roosevelt, Steve Wozniak,   or J.K. Rowling?  All introverts.  All history makers. Would there be world changing science? Would there be freedom? Would there be Harry Potter?  

The great leader, Mahatma Gandhi once said,  "I have naturally formed the habit of restraining my thoughts.  A thoughtless word hardly ever escaped my tongue or pen. Experience has taught me that silence is part of the spiritual discipline of votary truth. We find so many people impatient to talk. All the talking can hardly be said to be of any benefit to the world. It is so much waste of time. My shyness has been in reality my shield and buckler. It has allowed me to grow. It has helped me in my discernment of truth."

While I can say with great certainty that my mouth is not near so restrained as Gandhi, I certainly do experience the world as lots of talk with not much thought. I often think that there is so much noise going on that I could hardly decipher the deeper meaning provided there actually was one.

In spite of this introvert perspective, I have learned to work with a team, to be a quiet negotiator when necessary, to stand up when it really matters, and to let it go when it doesn't.  I have mastered the art of lurking on the edges without being creepy (unless I want to be) and  listening for the clues I need to "fake it" through certain social situations. I call upon my strange and often dark sense of humor to diffuse the noise, and when I can't get away from the racket, I create my own bearable version by cranking the tunes I love and singing along (and not well either.)  I also know when I must retreat to solitude to recharge my being........ and I will pay a price if I ignore this need for too long. 

How do the extroverts consider the quiet cogs and thinking gears in their lives? How do introverts engage a very noisy world in a meaningful way that doesn't kill their quiet soul? I suppose the answers lie in understanding our differences and in acknowledging that the clock doesn't work without the hands or the cogs. We are all connected and, yet, so very NOT the same. 

Make a quiet space for the introverts in your life, so we can create what moves us. Make space for the extroverts so they can jump and shout and do. The  clock will work, and we will all know what time it is.

To see the TED talk by Susan Cain click the link