Communication is the heart of every relationship. We communicate every day with partners, children, co-workers, friends, neighbors, and service providers.
The person who pumps my gas (yes, only Oregon will they still pump your gas for you) can't deliver what I need if I don't communicate. If I pull up to the pump and just sit there, the gas pumper might put diesel in my tank. Most likely s/he won't do anything. Then I will be irritated and call him incompetent when all the fuss was my own fault for not communicating.
So my question is: why is it that we fail at something we have to do all the time? You would think that with all the communicating we need to do to survive, we would all be great at it. Yet, so much communication fails.
So I ask my self why I fail.......... and here's what I came up with......
lack of awareness. sometimes I just don't have a clue I need say anything.
and fear of being misunderstood or rejected. Can you relate?
If I speak the truth will I be shunned? If I say what I mean, will it be taken out of context?
If I tell I how I feel, will I be misjudged? Will my attempts to communicate be cast off and ignored?
So I decide it's not worth the risk and choose silence.
Choosing silence robs myself and someone else of the opportunity to place a brick in that path to understanding. Knowing this doesn't make it easier. Communicating the right way is hard. And if we could all communicate then maybe we'd get along.
In the words of Jimmy Dugan, "If it was easy everyone would do it. It's the hard that makes it great."
Peace! lw
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